Lily's Conundrum
by marrythepirate
Summary: Lily rants to her diary about James Potter and the rest of the Marauders.


Lily's Conundrum

Dear Kitty,

I have ever mentioned how much I absolutely _loathe_ the Marauders? Really, they're the worst people on the planet. If You-Know-Who ever met them, he would probably know instinctively that he had met his match in evilness.

What have they done this time, you ask? Oh, nothing, absolutely nothing, only GOTTEN ME IN DETENTION FOR THE NEXT MONTH! I could KILL James Potter! I've gotten detention before, obviously, but never more than one at a time, and usually only for something like talking during McGonagall's class.

Wait. Who are the Marauders? I can't believe you forget so quickly. If it makes you happy, I will do a brief character analysis of each of them:

**Sirius Black**: The cute one. Unfortunately, that's about all the good that can be said about him. He's arrogant, loud, annoying, and sometimes even malicious. I actually think I fancied him when I first saw him on the Hogwarts Express—but shh, don't tell anyone. It was only for about two seconds, anyway. The next minute he insulted Severus and—wait. No. I am not going to think about Severus. See how annoying Black is? He even makes me think about things that I would much rather avoid for the rest of my life.

**Remus Lupin**: The smart one. I suppose, of all four of them, he's the least irritating. He gets good grades and he works hard, even though he's always sick and tired. I actually fancied him, too, for about a year and a half. This year, though, my good opinion of him has dropped somewhat. He's the other Gryffindor prefect, and although he's okay at it, he obviously favors his friends. I realize it must be hard for him, 'cause I hear Black and Potter teasing him all the time about being a prefect. But honestly, he just sits by when they torture other students, like Sev—wait. NO! I said I wasn't going to talk about this! See? Even Remus Lupin makes me think of him.

**Peter Pettigrew**: The cowardly one. That sounds awful, but he really is. The other three are all reasonably corageous and I can understand (most of the time) why they were put in Gryffindor. But honestly, Peter Pettigrew? He clings to the other three all the time, especially Potter. It's disgusting, really. He doesn't seem to be able to do anything at all on his own.

**James Potter**: The worst one. I mean it when I say this. Pettigrew doesn't really have the guts to do anything _that_ bad. Lupin can be nice sometimes, and sympathetic. Even Black can occasionally come up with some witty comebacks. But James Bloody Potter can't do anything. And I mean ANYTHING!

It started back in fourth year, when he suddenly started looking at me differently. Before then, I had just be an enemy. In fourth year, though, he started seeing me as A Girl. And since then, he hasn't left me alone! I mean, honestly, can't he take a hint? I turned him down (very politely) at the beginning of fourth year when he asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him. The next time he asked me out, though, it was much louder. And then louder still. This year, it has finally developed into poetry, chocolate, "love notes" (ugh) and even serenades. He deliberately turned the dormitory stairs into a slide so that he could "catch me" at the bottom. He wrote a message on the Common Room wall with roses saying I LOVE LILY EVANS.

Do you want to know what his latest escapade was? He proposed to me today in the Great Hall at the top of his lungs while singing L-O-V-E with the other Marauders singing back up. I was eating porridge when he approached me.

"_L is for the way you look at me, O is for the only one I see, V is very, very extraordinary, E is even more than anyone that you adore can…_" he sang out of tune.

And then, after the first verse, he began to deviate.

"_L is for my Lily's eyes so bright, O is 'Oh I want to hold her tight', V is very, very extraordinary, E is 'Evans, I will marry you and carry you away…_'" This was approximately where I put a stop to things by dumping a pitcher of pumpkin juice over him.

Black stopped singing harmony long enough to start throwing porridge at Potter. Can you guess what happened? Yup. A food fight. What else. And, despite the fact that it was NOT my fault, I got blamed for starting it.

So now I have detention until June with Black, Potter, AND Snape. Yes, Snape. If you think that the pumpkin juice, or the porridge deterred Potter at all from his song, you are mistaken. The lyrics had just reached the stage where they described various (cough) _activities_ that Potter and I would engage in (McGonagall took off points for that, thank Merlin) when Snape lunged across the Great Hall and lifted Potter up in the air with his stupid _Levicorpus_ spell.

Honestly, if he thinks that this was the way to get back into my good books, he was wrong. I hate him too. It's all Potter's fault of course. If he hadn't been cursing Severus a couple days ago after our OWLs, he never would have called me a…well, you know.

Oh, I'm being stupid. I can't blame everything on Potter, I guess. It wasn't so much the fact the Severus called me a Mudblood, it was his whole personality that was changing.

But if he thought that by "rescuing" me from Potter, I would suddenly swoon and fall in love with him instead…I haven't been blind, you know. I noticed when he started looking at me in a way that was a little more than just friendly. I tried to pretend I didn't, though.

And now I have detention with the three of them for the rest of the month. Three boys vying for my attention, two to romance and one just to annoy. It's strange, isn't it, how disdain and outright hatred attracts love and affection? A conundrum if I ever heard one. The more pressing one at the moment, however, is how to avoid hexing one of the three said boys and gaining detentions through the summer.

Bloody James Potter and his stupid singing!


End file.
